a trot down the street in m'shoes

...for a lack of anything better to title this. I won't make you walk the proverbial mile in my shoes, because they tend to smell bad - but a quick trot, and maybe you'll see why at the end of the day, all I can do is shake my head and laugh at some of the things that happen.

So, it's almost already the end of August and I'm not quite ready to admit it. The year is blowing by me with hurricane-force winds and I perpetually have so much to do (or so much that I would really like to get done).

Nowadays, I can claim I have 50+ hour work weeks. I don't work for the entire 50, but the time involved waking up, getting to, abiding my lunch breaks, and getting home.. totals about 50 hours a week with only a day and a half off. It's rough and I find myself with very little energy left over on my days off. Working in an animal hospital is fun, but sometimes overwhelmingly busy.

I've had to take on some extra work as a favor/job for my photographer friend while he and his wife were in Europe on vacation. Wonder when they'll stop by to pick up the cell phone and their display materials. It's kind of hard to call someone whose phone you still have in your possession, heh..

Planning on going back to college next spring, granted I get the few odd bills and expenses squared away. It was originally going to be this fall, but I'm still behind and having a full-time job that I just started.. doesn't quite really give me the faith that I'd do well with the semester.

If things go well, I might even be headed over to France for the Tour de France. It was a silly statement I made, "If Armstrong's riding again next year, we're going." I figured him coming out of retirement for this year's tour was kind of a rare event, but from what I understand, he'll be riding for Team Radio Shack. I'd like to see him win again before he really retires. Even better if I could be there.
Who knows what will happen with that. Taking a three weeks to a month off of work sounds kind of daring..

The job is great, aside from the people sometimes. I've been the cat whisperer to some extent.. some of the animals that board with us have attitudes and refuse to cooperate .. with certain people. I've been fortunate enough to befriend most of the troubled critters and get them wagging or purring again. One of the rottweilers we'd gotten in actually gave me a hug after several days of him baring his teeth at us and being rather crude. crazy boy.
We'd shifted management right as I came aboard, so things have been good and bad, bad, bad, bad, then moderate, then worse, then okay, then OH MY GOODNESS WHY AM I STILL HERE, then good. Been pretty good for the last week and a half, all considered.

I'm partially eager to go back tomorrow, since we've got some really affectionate doggies in.
Got to hold a tiny baby squirrel the other day while my friend was fitting him for a tube to feed it with..

But, I've got to go track down some aspirin and try to shake this headache before we head out for the night.

Things haven't really even begun to slow down for me at all... and after everything else, the holidays are around the corner - which means I'm going to be direly busy at work for nearly the entire season. I feel sometimes like I've got some Karma working against me.. but on the positive side, maybe I'll be able to catch up with my bills and be ready for the upcoming semester at school.

I decided I'm going to take Differential Equations after all, seeing as I probably won't be enrolling at USF in enough time to really transfer everything over from my former college. It'll get my mind back into the idea of attending classes and see how it'll work out in conjunction with my work schedule. If anything, taking a class will help reduce some of the time I have to work but I'll be able to work enough to keep my newly obtained health care.

Still haven't gotten into most of my projects. I abandoned some for now, although they remain on the list.
Hopefully I shall have some of the overdue artwork that I've been trying to finish up for a few years now by Christmas. :<

Going to make it a point to be more active around here seeing as I've been way too quiet. I'm quiet by nature as is, unless the heat has gotten to me and I start getting a bit loopy like I do at work. Walking in the hot Florida sunshine at 2pm is the worst.

October was pretty eventful. We had enough distractions on the weekends to keep me from losing my mind too badly. Saw our friends' new baby, went to St. Augustine, went to an interesting event over in the big city, a halloween party at an old high school friend's house, set up another new aquarium (this time, a 60 gallon hexagonal). Other entertaining moments..but those stand out more.

Learning to play a cello piece on my clarinet. I really would like to get it recorked, but I simply cannot afford it at the moment.. not on my list of priorities, at least. I need to make the radiator stop leaking in my car. Need a day off of work to get that done.. which, maybe I'll get lucky and get the opportunity to go home early.
Sun sets too early anymore. I wanna get the most out of my days :O

But, once again.. I'm weary and sleepy. Spent the day with my dad and the two dachsunds. Helped with yardwork and caught up with the times. suppose it was necessary..

Another rough day at work, even though they don't be seeming to end.

The first dog I'd essentially met when I started my job at the animal hospital, Dunstan - a Springer Spaniel (maybe with a little mix) - had to be put down today.

I came in from hosing down the back patio, seeing as one of our dogs (an old husky) who comes in fairly regularly for a bath or for boarding was there.. and she's got a bit of incontinence and will piddle carelessly at times. One of the other dogs had done the same in the cage, and I was left with the stench of urine in my nostrils. Felt like I couldn't get away from it, when my coworker pointed out the husky had piddled on her way out - which was conveniently on the patio. After we'd gotten caught up, I figured I'd go hose it down..

When I'd completed that and came in to see if my coworker needed help with feeding, she comes bolting around the corner from one of the wards, tears streaming down her face. I expect that of her, to some degree.. she's emotional and is more outwardly passionate about it. I rarely cry at work unless I'm really having a very terrible day and nothing seems to be coming together for me... she hysterically says something about ultrasounds, cancer, bladders, I ask about Homer (a bassett hound who is another "frequent flyer" who boards with us fairly often) thinking she's talking about Homer, but she says it was Dunstan.

My heart stops. She re-explains the information, that they'd done an ultrasound on Dunstan and are seeing that his bladder's been mostly (98%) consumed by cancer and that it looks grim. I hesitate at first.. but then ask if he's still around in the clinic. She's not sure, but she has the feeling he's still in the hospital somewhere.
I go up to treatment and find Barb, ask her what's going on - she's not sure, either.. and I make it a point to tell her that if they decide to euthanize him today - to let me know before they do so I can pay my respects and say goodbye. Even if it's only a work-related friendship, seeing Dunstan just about every day - he's grown on me. I always went out of my way to try and keep him from getting too riled up with having to put up with all the other barking dogs. We'd spoil him with treats, I'd skritch the small of his back and his stump of a tail would point left or right depending on what side I favored while scratching.. Everything that we'd all been through together, the diarrhea, the bloody urine, everything.. I wasn't there for his being diagnosed to only live 6 more months once they found out he had cancer, and he'd trudged through another 13+ months.. just the day before, I'd told his owner that his bowel movements were firm and blood-free, he ate well, and his urine was relatively clear -- for him.

After I went back to the kitchen to see where we were with feeding, Barb came in.. she was in tears. It was time..

The three of us went back up to treatment (the middle of the clinic, as we describe it). Josh brought Dunstan back while we bid our farewells.. Dr. V, the head vet and owner of the clinic, refused to do the injections.. so he got one of the other vets to do it. I asked if she minded if I was there while she administered the dosage, and she didn't.

We all ended up piling into surgery, where they decided was the easiest place to euthanize the dog, Lisa and Barb sniffling.. me trying not to do the same.

He went with a fight.. had to administer another injection. His heart kept beating even though his breathing ceased.

A moment later, he passed.


It feels so weird to go in Monday morning, knowing he won't be there. Even worse, knowing he won't be boarding with us on Friday, like his owner was telling me about. I'd asked about him bringing in some toys that Dunstan favored, so we could try and get him out to play when we had some spare time.

I can only hope his owner is doing alright. We all wanted to be there for the sympathy and support, but he left shortly after agreeing to the euthanasia. I know that Dunstan was his whole world and he wasn't taking this easily at all. I suppose we all push the inevitable as far back as possible sometimes.


anyway..

:-\

Today was an easy day for us! was nice.
It's neat to watch puppies grow up, too. There's a chocolate lab who frequents with us. The first time I met her, she was pretty young. She's been growing and growing every time. I'll never forget my boss/head of kennel and boarding saying a few months back, "Yeah, Sami's gonna be staying with us. She's like 40 pounds now." My reply was, "GOOD GRIEF she doubled in size!!"

She's in for a spay, going home tomorrow. She's SOOOOO snuggly and cute. She even wagged her tail at me when I stopped in at treatment on my way to clock out for lunch. Had to stop for a moment to say hi and see how she was doing coming out of the anesthesia.
Later, I sat with her for a while and she curled up onto my lap, grumbling and whining. I petted her and reassured her as she dozed off.

Feels good to have a slight break in the frustration for now. Dave and I have a heck of a time together, talking and rambling about all sorts of crazy things. It's nice to work with someone who doesn't shy away from a bizarre mind.


I just installed KidPix on my desktop computer, finally. SUCH MEMORIEEEEESSSSS

SHEESH.

More than a year...
I try to keep up with journals and whatnots, because they're great ways of keeping tabs on insight and looking back to situations. But, I've been busy and just about everything in between busy and somewhat depressed.

I quit my job at the animal hospital back in June because the people I was forced to work with really sapped the fun out of taking care of the animals. I don't necessarily agree with the way my bosses and the other higher-ups decided to deal with people who weren't actually doing their work. So, instead of letting my mood greatly affect my work, I decided to call it quits and move on.
However, I've not yet found a job. Stuff's been extremely tough, not just me, myself and I - but with family too. (So, if you'd been thinking about commissioning me, I do encourage it. I've got lots of free time to push into a quality project)
Stepdad got into another car accident (again, not his fault) which has put him out of work again. He'd been out of work for several months (construction-type work), JUST got the job, and then found that the doctors advised against him jumping back up and busting hump on 8 hours of physical labor. We're not sure what's going to happen, if he'll be able to go back to work if he can find it within the next few weeks, or ...

Despite the negatives, I received a dSLR camera for my birthday. It's been an absolute joy to own. I take it nearly everywhere I go, always looking for something to photograph. It's been mostly ducks because we spend a hefty amount of time at the parks on weekends, and most of the ducks are very docile because other people feed them. Seen some silly situations that I can't even begin to describe.

Been to several anime conventions this year, and next year I hope to go to as many as I can. They're wonderful distractions most of the time, and thanks to a friend - I actually got my butt in gear to properly cosplay. It's a blast, it really is. I'm planning to make more TF2-related props, if not eventually cosplay as some of the other characters and not just medic (though Medic really suits me).

I can't believe Thanksgiving is nearly here... I'm really not ready for the holidays. My heart just isn't in 'em this year.. too much stress and too many things to worry about, I just can't get into the mood. People have already decorated for Christmas around the city, the malls and stores all have their holiday displays, they're already -- ALREADY playing Christmas music. If anything, it's just a constant reminder while I'm out in the world that I'm not going to be able to afford to get presents. It's not an expectation, but I've seen a bunch of nice things that would make for really good and practical gifts that my friends and family can use... argh.
Maybe soon, the holiday spirit will hit and I can get into it this year. I keep hope.


but, for now I've got laundry to put away.
Will try and update more regularly ^^;

Found out by mistake that the laptop I inherited can successfully run The Sims 3.
I have to leave everything at minimal settings, but yay! I've only had it a year now XD

Still no luck on the job front. Craigslist is starting to grind my nerves... local companies post job offers that I'm pretty much qualified for, but then they never reply to my emails. My advice? Don't take Craigslist seriously. I don't think the people who post or respond to posts (I've tried selling items before, as well) generally take it seriously. Three times I got stood up from people who seem "really interested" at first.
Maybe I should try selling on Ebay instead.

Things seem to be starting to look up for my stepdad; slightly better as a whole for the family. It's still going to be a difficult series of holidays to get through.

Spike, one of our two cockatiels, has taken a liking to sitting on my shoulder during dinner. I'll give her some of the vegetables from time to time, and she's actually started eating some. Yay! She's cute. Started preening my hair after a while, then fluffed up and tried taking a nap. I can't sit at the table forever, though.. lol.

Curious to see what the weekend has in store. We were supposed to be going out to a big concert, but I haven't heard anything from our friends who were offering to buy the tickets.
Hmmm...

Despite the windy (and slightly chilly) weather outside, things have quieted down significantly.
For now, I think things might be okay for a bit - rather than the wishy-washy up-down days I've been dragging my feet through. Helps that everyone here at home seems much more at ease than they were the entire month.
Without getting into too much detail, we won't be homeless anytime soon. Other things have gone through, although I'm still waiting on a job offer to come along. But, in the meantime, I've been helping out my stepmother's brother-in-law with stuff around his house. It gives me a little more cash each week to keep the bills tame.

This week is going to fly right by and into the new year. I'm only working a few days of the week, but supposedly friends of ours are going to drag us out to pre-new year's parties and other events. It's good to have distractions, I suppose! I guess I'm ready... I know it hasn't been my year, 2010, but maybe I can convince myself that I've got a fresh start up ahead and I'll come back even stronger and more determined.

Thrilled because I got a new phone, and once again, I can customize my ringtones. The phone I got before this, which I spent more money than I should have on... was supposed to have customization, but no matter what I did (changing file sizes, lengths, formats), nothing worked. It bummed me out hardcore. I'm going to go as far to say that I do not recommend the Motorola ROKR. it has its neat features and all, but on the whole, it's a bit lacking - unless the new model/version has more features.

Suppose I should go clean my aquarium filters while I'm thinking about it. Gotta keep my fishies happy

And then a million years later..

Life's been on and off busy. It sure does like to throw things at me at random. Right now, I face the prospect of losing over 30 gigabytes of photographs I've taken and not backed up, plus pictures of all my old artwork and other memories and writings and research work. Frustrating. The good news about that is, I think it might just be the IDE cable in the system I'm using right now. I've been trying to build up another system which is a step above this one (but still 'old' by all the modern computing standards), but it's got some funny issues that really don't make any sense.

Been trying to find a fulltime job in my field of specialty, but the pickings are slim around here. They're closing down and outsourcing the place I interned at.. sad to see it go, but they kept shrinking and shrinking the facility. It was a bit obvious 4-5 years ago what their intentions were. Kind of waiting to hear whether or not a friend of mine is going to move when they finally shut down. He's got a ton of health complications, so he's not entirely sure what he wants to do or where he wants to go.. I don't see him all that often as is, but, y'know.

Trying to recapture my muse. It would seem as though he's gone on holiday without letting me know when he plans on returning.
Drawing as been dry and tough for me as of late. I hope this doesn't last for too much longer...

Helped my friend with an epic tear down/rebuild of the engine in his truck over the last month, month and a half. Tedious work, but I learned quite a bit about what, where, how, and why. Also.. got to clean nuts, bolts, manifolds, valve covers.. it's a wonder I didn't dissolve in the bucket of Greased Lightning.
Took lots of photographs along the way (which are on that cursed harddrive), the birds that frequent the yard didn't even mind that we were out there making noise. they'd take their baths and eat the food I put out for them every day.. had lots of ridiculous moments that you just have to stand back and laugh at, but that's usually thanks to a mutual friend. He's got a goofy sense of humor, but keeps things from seeming to grim at times.


For now, I begin my convention preparation. June and July are going to whizzzzz by like I was standing still, but I'm so badly looking forward to having a blast. I've been itching to get out and hang with convention friends for such a long time now.